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Trust Triangles

#article #leadership #trust
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I had to fire my team due to budget cuts. No room for negotiation. I told them immediately. Conventional wisdom would be to keep quiet and avoid disruption and conflict. I didn't.

One-on-One Trust

Most people think of trust as what happens between two people. This type of trust is the foundation of any lasting relationship, and it takes time, consideration, and consistency to maintain.

Leaders feel tension with this type of trust. It feels like the responsibilities of their job are at odds with a personal and trusting relationship.

Even though many leaders feel this, it isn't true.

Think about how many dramatic moments in TV shows exist solely because one character didn't tell another what was going on? That information gap creates tension and drama as one person feels betrayed by the other's seemingly insane actions.

Leaders withhold and broker information all the time. One reason is they believe that by only sharing "relevant" information they eliminate distractions.

This is the exact setup that causes teams to look at their leader's actions as a betrayal. The same goes the other way too.

Withholding information will always undermine your ability to foster trust because it will make your actions seem like a betrayal in its inconsistency and randomness.

Trust Triangle

There is another way to build trust aside from one-on-one. It is a "Trust Triangle."

A trust triangle exists when two or more people mutually share and agree upon something else that they hold sacred and build trust around.

Creating trust triangles is a big part of how I build exceptional teams.

You and your teams meet or have a workshop and find things you all share to be important and make an agreement that you will honor that important thing. It is like saying, "You may not trust me, but you can trust this."

This creates a place for trust to grow outside of one-on-one relationships. Just like all trust though, betrayal will destroy it.

The best example of a trust triangle gone wrong is company values. They're meant to be the foundation of trust triangles, but they're acted on so inconsistently that nobody believes in them or for anyone to act consistently with them.

So when you want to create a trust triangle, pick something you will keep sacred.

Now, life happens and something will happen that forces you to act against the trust triangle. The best course of action is to acknowledge it. Let folks know you're doing something that violates the triangle and be ready to talk about it. It may damage your trust, but it won't destroy it.

Build A Legacy of Trust

I told the team I fired as soon as I knew because we built trust around helping each other. That was sacred and worth the risks.

We talked. We grieved. Then we got back to work honoring the triangle built around helping each other and we did just that. They helped me to make sure the transition went smoothly, and I helped them with the next step of their careers. That was years ago, and we still keep in touch.

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